Nathaniel is not going to be a secret. I am not going to let that happen. I am going to talk about him. I will probably cry and that's ok. I will probably make people uncomfortable sometimes, but I don't care. He is part of our family. He always will be.
I always thought this was so interesting. When we lost our boys, many people that we had known for a long time came out and told us about their losses. It is incredible how many people did not feel comfortable sharing their stories. I think part of them stems back decades into history, where hospital staff would take the premature baby or stillborn baby out of the room. It was believed that it would cause too much psychological damage to the mother if she saw her baby. It was normal for the mother to go home and act like nothing had happened. There wasn't even a huge push to save babies until a Kennedy baby died. My graduate research project is about the psychological effects of losing a baby, and there isn't even much psychological literature out there now. It's very disheartening. Anyway. I don't want to hijack your post. But I am glad to hear that you are continuing to make Nathaniel a part of your family. More people should be like that after their losses, and they are not. You're such a great mom!
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