Nathaniel Day 28 - A Picnic and Ice Cream

With Felicity needing to take a nap and only really sleeping at home lately we have had to make the Nathaniel Day activities pretty small for the past couple of months. This month I asked Abby what she wanted to do for Nathaniel Day. She said "Go to Baby Brother's grave." I didn't want to just go there and hang out so I decided to make a picnic. Dave wasn't going to be home for dinner anyway so we could go whenever Felicity woke up from her nap.

I brought a soccer ball and a frisbee for Abby to play with and we all just hung out in the grass by his grave and enjoyed the nice, sunny day.

While we were there a bunny came over to see us several times and Felicity decided to stand up on her own for the first time.

After our picnic we had a little time before the girls needed to go to bed so we went and got some frozen yogurt for dessert. It was a pretty fun day.

Nathaniel Day 27 - Lunch and Lighthouses

Abby is obsessed with trains. We have found a few restaurants in the area that have trains that bring out the food. She loves them. Usually she doesn't actually eat anything, but she loves going. I found a new one somewhat close to us at the Kenosha Metra station so I thought we would check it out. It was not the best that we have been to. Abby did not like the mac and cheese that she ordered, but drank all of the milkshake that I let her get. She did very much enjoy the trains though.


It was supposed to be a nice, warm day so I thought that while we were there we would also do something that I like and go visit the lighthouses in downtown Kenosha. I haven't been to Kenosha that much and had never been to the lighthouses. It was also the first week that the lighthouse museum was open for the season.

We ate lunch and visited the little museum at the lighthouse on the shore and then decided to go play at the beach and then walk down the pier to the little lighthouse at the end. It was a little cold by the beach but both girls loved it. Felicity crawled all over and tried to eat all the sand. Abby collected all the little things that she could on the beach and used them to decorate a sand castle that she made. We all had a lot of fun and were pretty worn out by the time we left.

On the way home we stopped at Nathaniel's grave to see if the tree above his grave was flowering. We knew it is a cherry tree, but had never seen it in bloom. I'm glad I decided to extend our trip to stop. It was so pretty. If I had waited I might have missed it again this year.

New Decorations

We got some new decorations for Nathaniel's grave at Feed My Starving Children when we were there to pack meals for his birthday. Abby picked out the giraffe, which she named Giraffy. 

The next day we brought them to the cemetery and put them in place. We have since removed the Christmas lights. Soon we will have to bring some of his other summertime things back.

Felicity's First Trip to Visit Nathaniel

Several weeks ago we went out to lunch for Dave's mom's birthday. It was a beautiful warm day so we decided to visit Nathaniel's grave on the way home. Dave and I hadn't been there for Nathaniel Day so we wanted to see the new decorations and see if there was grass yet.

The grass planted on his grave was starting to grow and there were buds on the flowering tree above it, but they weren't open yet.

Abby left her balloon from the restaurant for baby brother. That was a big deal for her. She doesn't easily give things up. She also picked a bouquet of dandelions for him and left them on his stone.

While we were there Abby explained to Felicity where we were and why we go there. I don't remember exactly what she said, but it was really cute. She definitely understands.

Nathaniel Day 14 - New Decorations and a Baby Sister

You can read about the idea behind Nathaniel Day and the activities of previous months here (2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13).

In the morning Grandma and Grandpa dropped off Abby at the hospital to meet baby sister. She had a great time holding her. While she was there the professional photographer stopped by and we decided to take some pictures. We got her to take some with Abby, Felicity, and Nathaniel bear. 

It wasn't quite the picture that I had imagined since Felicity wasn't wearing her little sister shirt anymore. She had gotten it all dirty earlier in the day. I will just have to try again later to get all three in their sibling shirts.

Abby had been calling baby sister Rudolph since some time in December. When she met her she continued, but by the time Abby left she stopped calling her Rudolph and started to use her actual name.

Abby stayed and had lunch with us at the hospital and then Grandma and Grandpa took her back to their house.

I had planned to take Abby to the store to pick out some new, springy decorations for Nathaniel's grave, but since I was in the hospital Grandma took her. Abby picked out a sunflower for baby brother. I had found the pinwheel before Easter in the dollar section at Target.

It wasn't the day that I had imagined, but I never thought that I would be having a baby that day. From now on Nathaniel Day will also be celebrating her too.

Nathaniel Day 13 - A Visit, Eating Out, and a Movie

You can read about the idea behind Nathaniel Day and the activities of previous months here (2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12).

This month Nathaniel Day fell on a Friday. It was a little cold and Abby and I were both a little sick with colds so we didn't end up doing a whole lot.

We drove over to Nathaniel's grave. We hadn't been there for a while. I was going to clean the snow off and remove the little Christmas lights. I'm glad I decided to bring boots for both of us. There was more snow than I was anticipating and I didn't take into account the berm of plowed snow that we needed to climb over to get to his grave. The snow got mostly cleaned off, but the lights were too frozen into the ground to take out. I didn't have anything to replace them with anyway. Maybe next month we'll take them out. By then the snow should be all gone and we might want some springy decorations there anyway. I told Abby she could pick something new out. She was pretty excited about that.

Abby was very excited about her mac n cheese

Before we left for the cemetery we ordered lunch online so that it would be ready to pick up when we got there. We made a quick stop to pick it up and then came home to eat our lunch and watch the movie that Abby had picked out the day before. We both had a fun afternoon relaxing and watching the movie.

When Dave got home he wanted to go out for dinner and get some fish (since it is Lent and you can find it everywhere) so we quick got in the car and went to Culvers. We had a good dinner and got some  dessert to go since it was time to get home and watch the Amazing Race (Abby's favorite).

It was a pretty low key day, and I think they will be for a while (I have a doctor's appointment next month and then we will have a newborn), but we are going to keep doing something every month. I want Nathaniel Day to be something that both girls participate in for a long time. It doesn't have to be something big, but we need to do something.

Finally in Place

We got a call from the cemetery this morning to tell us that Nathaniel's marker had been placed. After 5 1/2 months of waiting it is finally there. We were able to go see it this afternoon. That was much harder than I had anticipated. I didn't expect to break into tears the second that I saw it. The other times that we have been to the cemetery, and we have been there several times but not for a few months, I have been fine. Today I was not.

I guess it was kind of a big day. There's really nothing else for us to do for him now. We will continue to do things because of him all the time, but really nothing else will be for him ever again.

Waiting

It seems that in dealing with the cemetery they are either really fast (picking a plot, finding a date for the service) or really slow (getting a marker made). We ordered Nathaniel's stone in the beginning of May. We were told that we would have a proof by the end of the month. We got one in August. Since it  took so long I kind of just wanted to say it was fine and get it made, but it wasn't fine. The font bothered me. I figured we were paying for it and if it bothered me now it would probably bother me years from now so we told them and they are going to redo it.

It's been a few weeks now. I figured we would have it back already, but we don't. It should take about 5 minutes to change a font, but realistically it will probably be months before we see anything again. When we do, I probably won't like it. Even if it's exactly what we picked it won't be what I want. Nothing would be.

I don't want to be picking out a headstone for my son's grave. What I want is for him to be here with us, but he's not and he never will be.