277 Days

Nathaniel was born at 39 weeks and 4 days (277 days gestation). Today it has been 39 weeks and 4 days since Nathaniel died. That is the same amount of time I was pregnant with him. As of tomorrow it will always be longer that he has been gone than he was with us.

Today, after he has been gone for 277 days, we got our Nathaniel bear. I don't think this is a coincidence. I think it was supposed to take an extra week to get to us so that he would get here on this day exactly 39 weeks and 4 days after he went to heaven.

Nathaniel Day 9 - Robot Factory, Treats, and Shoeboxes

You can read about the idea behind Nathaniel Day and the activities of previous months here (2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8).

For Nathaniel Day this month we didn't have a big activity planned. Abby has story time at the library on Thursdays so we went to that. I let her pick out a movie to watch that night. We brought some lunch with us and ate in the car on our way to the Robot Factory.

The Robot Factory is a little place in Libertyville, IL. It is mostly a place to build with LEGOs. Abby had a coupon from the summer reading program at the library so I thought that it would be fun for the afternoon. It was only open until 2 hence the lunch in the car so that we could be there as long as possible.

Abby had a lot of fun at the Robot Factory. There was a separate room for the littler kids filled with at least three different trains, a doll house, a play kitchen, cars and roads and ramps, and lots of LEGOs. Abby spent most of the time playing with the trains (surprise, surprise) while I made a zoo on the big train table. We played until the place closed and were the only people there all afternoon so had the place all to ourselves.

After that we went and got a treat. I gave Abby the option of ice cream or getting a cookie. She chose ice cream. 

We had Dave pick up dinner since he didn't get to participate in the rest of the day. We had a picnic dinner in the back room and watched the movie that Abby had chosen at the library while wrapping and filling our boxes for Operation Christmas Child. We didn't finish them all that night, but ended up with 13 by the time we were all done with all of them. I figured that 9 were for Nathaniel, one for each month old he would have been, and 4 for Abby, one for each year.

9 Months

Today has actually not been bad. I really wasn't sad at all. It seems every month it gets easier and easier to make it through the sixth. I guess that's a good thing.

Abby and I had a fun day. We didn't do anything terribly big or exciting. I'll post on the Nathaniel Day activities in another post in a few days.

We still don't have our Nathaniel bear. I was sure we would have it by now since it was supposedly shipped last week. Yesterday I got another shipment notification that it was going to be shipped today, but I checked on it and it seems that it still hasn't shipped. The waiting is driving me crazy. I need to stop thinking about it and checking on it all the time. We will eventually get it. It really doesn't matter when.

One Down, Lots to Go

I finished the first of the Nathaniel ornaments I'm making. A few others have been started, but need a little more work to be finished. I still haven't decided if every person is going to get one or just every family so I'm not sure how many I need to make.

Since my family reads this and they are for them I'm not going to post pictures now. Instead I will post a picture of the one I made for us. It is different from the rest.

For all the new babies in the family I make a bear ornament for their first Christmas. So I made one for Nathaniel that will hang on our tree. It is different from the ones all the other kids have since it is made with paper from cards that we got after he died and this bear is holding a heart. All the others are just white bears.

Late Night Thoughts

It's late. As I was trying to fall asleep I started thinking about Nathaniel and his life.  I couldn't sleep so I thought I would write it out. We'll see if it helps.

For a long time I thought that I didn't have any memories with him, but really I have a lot. Nathaniel didn't ever live outside of me, but he spent every single second of 39 weeks and 4 days with me. In those 277 days he did a lot with me.

Today I was thinking about all that we did last year while I was pregnant with him. We celebrated Mother's Day, my birthday, Father's Day, cousin Sammy's 1st birthday, Grandpa's birthday, Abby's birthday, Thanksgiving, and Christmas. We went to a wedding and a funeral. We flew on airplanes and rode trains and bikes. We went camping and to the beach. We slept in hotels, a camper, a tent, and relative's houses. We saw all the grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins who live far away (most more than once). We went to museums to see art and fish and trains. We picked apples and cherries. We went swimming and played in the snow.

2013 was a big year. We did a lot of stuff and Nathaniel was there for all of it.

In Oklahoma for my Grandpa's funeral

Riding a train to Chicago with "Crazy" to spend the day at the Art Institute

Us and all of our Alaska family on Father's Day

My birthday

On a bike ride in Alaska with all the cousins

Nathaniel hiked a mountain

At Matt and Anoosh's wedding

Grandpa's birthday - the day we told people that Nathaniel was coming

Abby's birthday

Camping

Riding a train at the Illinois Railway Museum

Thanksgiving

Christmas

Fun in the snow

Having fun with our friend at the Children's Museum
(the last picture I can find when I was still pregnant with Nathaniel, a little over a month before he was born)