Happy 1st Birthday Blog

This day last year I started this blog. I wrote and published my first post. I never thought that I would be able to keep it up or have the impact that I am having. I never thought I would have so much to say or that people would actually want to read it. Apparently 1.5 million people do. Craziness.

It was just a suggestion that was made in a seminar about book publishing as a way to get noticed and have a better chance of publishing. I still haven't done much about that. I hope to be able to focus on it again now that Felicity is here.

Ready to Get to Work Again?

I think I need to get to work on getting the baby brother book published again. It's been months since I have done anything for it. I wrote my query letter back in May. I think it's really good, but I haven't done anything with it since having it proofread.

The next step is just so scary I think I'm procrastinating, but if I want it published, and I do, I have to send it out to agents or publishers. Otherwise how are they going to find out about it, read it, love it, and publish it so that it's out there for other families?

Maybe I need to give myself a deadline. I know it doesn't really mean anything, but maybe it will help me be motivated to work on it again. I just have to figure out what a reasonable amount of time would be.

Getting a Book Published is Hard

I've never wanted to write a book. I certainly didn't know what was needed to be done to get one published. In my head you write something, send it to publishers, they read it, love it, publish it, and send you money. That is definitely not how it works, especially not for a first time author. Most publishers will not accept anything directly. You need an agent. The agent talks to the publisher for you. But you can't just go out and pick an agent, they pick you. I didn't know this.

In order to get an agent you need to have what is called a query letter. It tells about your book and you and basically tells them why they should publish it. I don't want to write that. I just want my book to get to the people that need it. I don't even care about the money. I would give it away if I could. I just need to get someone to publish it first.

I've been working on the letter. It is hard. I need for someone to see the desperate need for this book. I have 3 paragraphs to convince them.

I think I have something good written. I'm having a few people read it to see if it needs to be fixed or changed. Then I can send it out.

Step 1 of ? almost done.

Up next the search for an agent.

I don't want to do this, but I need to.

The Many Adventures of Baby Brother

I went many places with Nathaniel while I was pregnant. Normal, everyday places like the swimming pool, park, grocery store, church, the library, preschool homeschool group, doctor's offices, and the dentist twice. He also went to Alaska to visit Grandma and Grandpa and his cousins, aunts, and uncles. We went on bike rides, car rides, camping trips, and hikes. We went to museums, concerts, and rode the train. We went to his uncle's wedding where Daddy was the best man and Abby was the flower girl. We went to Great Grandpa's funeral in Oklahoma and while we were there we spent time with more family and had fun learning about the cherokees. We saw people we haven't seen in years.

After we lost Nathaniel I still carried him with me wherever we went. I had the story that I had written and then Abby's book* in my bag at all times.  It came with me to the OB's office, the dentist, the library, church, the homeschool group, and the grief group at the hospital that we became a part of. I shared it with everyone I saw. If you saw me you probably heard, "Do you want to see Abby's book?" shortly after I said hi.

Lately the book has stayed home. I figured everyone I see has already read it. Right now it is sitting faced out on a bookshelf. I look at it all the time, but I don't open it or offer to read it to Abby.

I know that it has gotten to the point in time that everyone we come in contact with does not know what we have so recently gone through. Maybe I should start to carry Nathaniel with me everywhere again.


*The title of the book is "Where is Baby Brother?". To her that's his name. His name is not Nathaniel.

Accidental Author

If you know me in real life you probably know that I wrote a book for Abby about her baby brother. You have most likely seen it if you have see us in person in the last month or two. What you might not know is that I don't think of myself as a writer. I do not like writing, but in the days after Nathaniel's death words poured out of me, mostly in the hours that I was awake I'm the middle of the night or too early in the morning.

On Saturday I went to a seminar at my library about successfully publishing books. At the beginning of the talk it was mentioned that writing a book is something that everyone wants to do at sometime in their life. Nope. Not me. Until three months ago I didn't want to write a book. Even then I didn't want to do it. I needed to. There was nothing out there to help us explain to our three year old daughter that the baby brother that she was so excited about, and was told was coming, was not coming home with us. The words came to me. I believe they came from God. I had to write them down and now I need for them to be out there for other little girls and boys who won't be getting to grow up with the sibling that they have been preparing for for months.

I am not ready yet to put the work into getting the book published for real. It's just too overwhelming. I have made one for Abby with our pictures to go along with the words. For now that's enough for me. Someday it will be published and available to other grieving families. I now know the steps I need to take for that to happen and when I am ready I can start on that journey.