Saying Goodbye to New Friends

Dave and I have been going to a weekly GriefShare group at a local church since September. Last night was unexpectedly the last session (originally scheduled to end, skipped a week, were going to meet one more time next week). We didn't know that it was going to be the last week until after we got there. I actually went by myself last night. Usually Dave's mom is able to babysit, but she couldn't yesterday. If we had known that it was the last week we would have tried to find someone else. (That was going to be the case next week.) He really wanted to be there for the last week.

It seemed everyone was a little thrown off by it being the last time we were going to meet. We all seemed extra emotional. Even the leader cried at the end. She said she never does that. We had talked a few weeks ago about all getting together in January some time. I hope that actually happens. I'm going to miss seeing all my new friends every Monday. They will all definitely be on the invite list for any birthday celebration we have for Nathaniel in February. They would probably come too.

An Unexpectedly Good Day

I was thinking on the way home from grief group tonight that today was a really good day. It wouldn't appear that way to many people. My day started with going to a funeral and ended going to a grief group. But it really was a good day.

At the funeral in the morning I got to be with some of my good friends to support them on a really hard day. I was reminded of Nathaniel and cried a lot through the morning, but that's ok. I was there. I understand how important just showing up is.

In the afternoon we went apple picking as a family for Nathaniel Day and had a lot of fun. Grandma was able to come with us too. We had a fun time outside on a beautiful fall day.

Then to end the day I went to grief group. There I was able to share a lot about Nathaniel. I had brought my book and by the end of the night nearly everyone had read it. I got so many hugs and was able to tell people about all the things we are doing because of Nathaniel and the legacy that he has already.

Lots of Mondays

In the last 7 months I have made myself do so many things that I didn't want to do because I knew that I needed to. I have forced myself to ask for help and reach out to people. Tonight I will be doing it again.

A friend who graduated college with me unexpectedly lost her husband about a week before we lost Nathaniel. She lives near us. I contacted her after a month or so. We have been talking about going to a grief group together for a few months. We are finally going to go. Tonight is our first meeting. I'm sure it will be good to go, but strange to be in a group where the losses are all different. The group Dave and I have been going to at the hospital is just for parents who have lost babies.

The group tonight is for anyone who has lost a family member so Grandma is coming too. So for the next 12 Mondays we will be going. If we can find someone else to babysit Dave will come too.