A Loss is a Loss

There seems to be a hierarchy in the loss community. There are those that lost a child through an early miscarriage and then there are those that have lost a child after 20 some weeks. It seems to me that the two groups are not seen as equal. The miscarriages seem to be treated as lesser. I feel that is not right. All of them have lost a child or children. They are all hurting because of it. Losing a child is painful. A loss is a loss whether at 1 day, or 9 months, or 26 years.

For those who have had a miscarriage, people around them might not know what they are going through. They might not have told anyone about the pregnancy before the baby was gone. Their families may not even know. I would think that would be a very hard place to be. I, at least, know that nearly everyone around me knows about Nathaniel so if I am sad or can't handle a situation people might know why.

If you have lost a child, I am sorry. I might not understand exactly what you are going through, and you might not understand my situation, but ultimately we are the same. We are both a parent to a child who is not here with us. We don't need to compare our stories to know that we have both lost something that we can't get back. My situation is not better or worse than yours. We are both in pain.