Baby Shower Anxiety

I'm going to a baby shower today for my sister in law who is due in May. I'm excited about it and anxious at the same time. I know that I wouldn't be able to handle a shower for me right now. Will I be OK at one for someone else…who is having a boy? I don't know. I want to have fun, but haven't been to a baby shower since the one that was thrown for me for Nathaniel so I have no idea how I am going to react or if something will be a trigger for me. I seem to be OK seeing babies now so maybe it will be alright. I really hope so.

Nathaniel Day 13 - A Visit, Eating Out, and a Movie

You can read about the idea behind Nathaniel Day and the activities of previous months here (2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12).

This month Nathaniel Day fell on a Friday. It was a little cold and Abby and I were both a little sick with colds so we didn't end up doing a whole lot.

We drove over to Nathaniel's grave. We hadn't been there for a while. I was going to clean the snow off and remove the little Christmas lights. I'm glad I decided to bring boots for both of us. There was more snow than I was anticipating and I didn't take into account the berm of plowed snow that we needed to climb over to get to his grave. The snow got mostly cleaned off, but the lights were too frozen into the ground to take out. I didn't have anything to replace them with anyway. Maybe next month we'll take them out. By then the snow should be all gone and we might want some springy decorations there anyway. I told Abby she could pick something new out. She was pretty excited about that.

Abby was very excited about her mac n cheese

Before we left for the cemetery we ordered lunch online so that it would be ready to pick up when we got there. We made a quick stop to pick it up and then came home to eat our lunch and watch the movie that Abby had picked out the day before. We both had a fun afternoon relaxing and watching the movie.

When Dave got home he wanted to go out for dinner and get some fish (since it is Lent and you can find it everywhere) so we quick got in the car and went to Culvers. We had a good dinner and got some  dessert to go since it was time to get home and watch the Amazing Race (Abby's favorite).

It was a pretty low key day, and I think they will be for a while (I have a doctor's appointment next month and then we will have a newborn), but we are going to keep doing something every month. I want Nathaniel Day to be something that both girls participate in for a long time. It doesn't have to be something big, but we need to do something.

Nathaniel's Legacy at the Library

We got a thank you letter from the library yesterday. It included a list of all the books that were donated or bought by the library with funds people gave for Nathaniel's birthday. I brought two more over today so now the total is now 57 books donated in Nathaniel's name.

If you donated and included your address on the form you should be receiving a thank you letter from the library. If you donated money there will be a list of the books that the library bought in your name.

We were at the library today so I decided to see if any of them were there. Most were checked out, but I did find four or five. So if you donated a book (or books) here is what they look like.

13 Months

Today is 13 months since Nathaniel died. I had a hard time thinking of something fun to do today. Abby and I are both a little sick so I didn't want to go somewhere inside and infect lots of people. It's also supposed to be warm so all the snow will be melting and it will be sloppy and I can't walk for long without pain so an outside activity is out too. I decided yesterday when we were at the library that I would let Abby get a movie and we would have a movie day and if we are up to it we might go to the park.

The day is really not what I would like it to be, but that's ok. I don't really need the distraction any more and can't do too much activity anyway.

I'm sure we will keep doing fun things for Nathaniel Day each month. They just might be small things for a while. That's ok.