There have been quite a few firsts for us this year without Nathaniel. None of them are new to us. They are all things that we have celebrated before, but this year they are hard days. The days we have to try to get through. The days we miss him the most. The first Valentine's Day, Easter, Mother's Day, and now Father's Day.
My birthday is next week. It will be the first birthday that we have celebrated as a family since February. I am dreading it. I don't want to do anything. I really don't want to celebrate. I'm thinking it is going to be harder than any other day so far this year. I should plan something fun, but we have so many other things going on next week that I think trying to plan something will just stress me out.
The morning is already planned. There is story time at the library. We always go to that. If it's a nice day Abby and I will probably go to the pool in the afternoon. She's been actually playing in the water a lot more this year. That could be distracting and fun. If it rains I don't know what I'll do. Maybe I will pack for our trip the next day. We are only going to be gone for two days so that shouldn't take too long.
I think I'll be praying for sunshine for Thursday.
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