The Secret Club

I am part of a club. An exclusive club. One that no one knows about until they have to join it.

This club is wonderful, but no one really wants to be a part of it and we really never want it to get any bigger. We like everyone too much to want them in our club. We would not wish what we have gone through, the death of a baby or babies, on our worst enemies.

I have met so many wonderful women through the loss community. Most I met online and have not met in person, but we have an instant connection. We understand where the others are and what they are feeling when most of those around us don't.

I noticed this at the Stillbirth Summit. Usually talking to new people is really hard for me. There it wasn't. Everyone there had a similar story. We could talk about our babies without feeling judged or trying to hold back the tears.

When we first got to the conference there were two sessions going on at the same time. Dave went to one, I went to the other. The woman I sat next to needed something hard to write on and I had Abby's book in my purse so I gave it to her to use. After we were done with the session she gave it back to me and asked about it. I told her how I had written it for Abby and she told me that she had a 6 year old and had just lost her second child last year. We talked about how hard it is to be a parent to our other children when you are grieving and how hard it is to have to tell them over and over again that their baby brother or sister is not ever coming home. I felt like we were instant friends though we might never see each other again. I felt this way with every single person that I met while we were there.