Mother's Day is Just Like Every Other Day

Sunday was Mother's Day. It wasn't too bad. I was expecting to feel much worse. After church a good friend came up and gave me a hug and asked me how I was doing. I told him I was ok. He said that he knew today was hard for me. And then he said something like "every day is hard, isn't it?". I told him that it was. I'm glad that he acknowledged that not just the holidays are hard without your child. Every single day is a day without Nathaniel. Every day is hard.

I miss him.

I miss him when I wake up in the morning

I miss him when I go to sleep at night

I miss him when I am playing at the park with Abby

I miss him when I see babies at story time at the library

I miss him at church

I miss him when I do things all by myself

I miss him when we do fun things as a family

I miss him on the sixth of every month

I miss him when I talk about him to friends and family

I miss him when I don't talk about him to people I have just met

I miss him every time I walk past his room

I miss him when Abby takes things out of his room that she isn't supposed to have to play with

I miss him when I see pictures of babies

I miss him when I watch TV

I miss him when I look at the scar from my IV or c section

I miss him when I get something from the pantry and see his picture on the wall

I just miss him.

And I will miss him every day for the rest of my life.