October 15th

Today (October 15th) is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Day. This year it was also the day of our local hospital's annual Walk to Remember. We walked and released balloons to remember Nathaniel and all the other babies who died too soon. Then tonight Dave and the girls lit a candle for the international wave of light to remember all the babies and children who have died.

A New Book

A new resource for bereaved parents has just come out in the last week. I have been wanting to write about it here for a long time, but wanted to wait until it had been officially published.

It is a collection of essays written by a group of 26 people who have lost a child, some in pregnancy, some in infancy, and some later in life.  It was written to give those that are new in their grief some hope for the future. Each essay was written to describe one aspect of life in the first year after loss.

I found out about this book when there was a call for essays to be submitted in an online group that I am a part of. The editor of the book was specifically asking for essays from fathers. I forwarded the information on to Dave. He decided to write one and out of several hundred entries, his essay was accepted to be part of the book and one of only two from the perspective of a father.

The book is now available. We are eagerly awaiting its arrival at our house, hopefully in the next couple of days.

Candles Lit for the Babies

Last night we participated in the International Wave of Light for the babies gone too soon. I tried to remember all of the ones that I personally know of and lit candles for each of them.

We lit 19 candles and then prayed for their families. There were candles for: Hannah, Hope, Faith, Noah, Colton, Conner & Ben, Nathaniel, Edward, Mikayla, and a few others who's names I don't know or were lost early in pregnancy and never given names.

International Wave of Light

Walk to Remember 2014

Yesterday was our hospital's annual Walk to Remember for all of the babies lost there. It was a good time to meet some other families that are walking the same road as we are since most of the time at our monthly grief group it is usually just us and one or two other people. There were about 10 to 15 families there, which was not as many as I expected.

Two of the nurses that were with me while I was in the hospital with Nathaniel were there too. It was good to catch up with them and share some of the information about stillbirth that we have found.

Abby's balloon for baby brother

We were able to write a message on a sign and a balloon to release. Then we went outside and took a little walk to the memorial garden that the hospital has set up. A poem written by one of the loss moms was read, we all were able to say the names of the babies we were there for, and then we released all the balloons.

After the balloon release we went back inside and ate lots of delicious food while a few people shared their stories with the whole group. For a lot of us our losses seemed to be fairly recent. One that shared had lost their son in June and another who was there lost their daughter in September. I'm sure it was good for them to be able to share their stories. We didn't speak to the whole group, but I think both Dave and I individually spoke to a few people each.

I'm glad I went. I'm sure we will be participating for many years to come. Hopefully we are able to share some hope with the group.

Writing messages to Nathaniel

PAIL Awareness

October is Pregnancy and infant loss (PAIL) month. In particular, October 15th is Pregnancy and Infant Loss awareness day. As the 15th approaches there are lots of walks and remembrance ceremonies in the loss community all over the world. Ours at the hospital is today.

You might not know of anyone who lost a pregnancy or baby, but you probably know someone who has lost a child at some age. Take time to remember them this week. Write a note to the family, give them a call, go with them to an event, do something to help them see that other people remember their child too. It will mean the world to them.

I plan on writing a note this week to a couple in our grief group. They just lost their son at 26. He might have been an adult, but he was still their son.