We Are Unusual

I know that how we have dealt with the loss of Nathaniel is not normal. It hasn't been normal from the beginning. We noticed this at the hospital. Everyone there noticed it too and quite a few of our doctors and nurses commented on it. We were sad, obviously. Our son had died, but we had hope and chose to see the little good things in the midst of our terrible circumstances.

God is always good. He was with us and we were going to be ok. We felt that God was going to use us and Nathaniel to tell people about Him. It was and is exciting and terrifying at the same time.

We invited everyone to the memorial service: nurses, doctors, friends, coworkers, family. When we were meeting with the funeral home they were surprised that we were going to even have a service. I think they didn't expect anyone to show up for the service of a baby that no one had ever met. But they did. We knew they would.

About 125 people showed up. Dave and I didn't even have a chance to talk to them all before the service started. The funeral home kept having to get more chairs to put in the chapel and when that was full they opened up an overflow area next to it.

So many people showed up to support us and they all heard that God loves them and that they can some day see Nathaniel in heaven.

Last weekend Dave and I went to the service of another little boy who died of SIDS at about three months old. He was born about two weeks before Nathaniel. His mom works with Dave and had come to the service for Nathaniel. Their service was so different from ours. It was a Catholic mass. It didn't seem terribly hope filled to me. And to me the biggest difference, there were probably only 30 people there, at least half of which were family.

Here was another boy who lived and died too soon. People had been able to meet him and know him, but they didn't come to the service to support the family. I had only met the mom once, at Nathaniel's service. I didn't remember her, but when Dave told me that her son had died there was no question about going to the service. We were going. We were going to support them and we will remember them in a month or two when all the cards stop and it feels like everyone has forgotten.

We didn't know him, but we will not forget him.