I went many places with Nathaniel while I was pregnant. Normal, everyday places like the swimming pool, park, grocery store, church, the library, preschool homeschool group, doctor's offices, and the dentist twice. He also went to Alaska to visit Grandma and Grandpa and his cousins, aunts, and uncles. We went on bike rides, car rides, camping trips, and hikes. We went to museums, concerts, and rode the train. We went to his uncle's wedding where Daddy was the best man and Abby was the flower girl. We went to Great Grandpa's funeral in Oklahoma and while we were there we spent time with more family and had fun learning about the cherokees. We saw people we haven't seen in years.
After we lost Nathaniel I still carried him with me wherever we went. I had the story that I had written and then Abby's book* in my bag at all times. It came with me to the OB's office, the dentist, the library, church, the homeschool group, and the grief group at the hospital that we became a part of. I shared it with everyone I saw. If you saw me you probably heard, "Do you want to see Abby's book?" shortly after I said hi.
Lately the book has stayed home. I figured everyone I see has already read it. Right now it is sitting faced out on a bookshelf. I look at it all the time, but I don't open it or offer to read it to Abby.
I know that it has gotten to the point in time that everyone we come in contact with does not know what we have so recently gone through. Maybe I should start to carry Nathaniel with me everywhere again.
*The title of the book is "Where is Baby Brother?". To her that's his name. His name is not Nathaniel.
I think that is sweet that your daughter has a book about her baby brother. At our sons' memorial, our pastor told a story about a woman who had lost her son. She told him that she realized her son was like a backpack, and everyday she got ready in the morning and put on her backpack (her son). He went with her wherever she went, and she carried him through the rest of her life. I think that our boys are like that. We carry them wherever we go, whether people can see them or not.
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